The Double Girlfriend Dissent
by genki-escapist
Summary: Annoyed with Leonard and Sheldon discussing their girlfriends in the context of the Roommate Agreement, Penny convinces Amy to go on girlfriend strike. Will the girls relent or will the guys fold at the suspension of their boyfriend privileges? Shamy, LP
1. The Roommate Agreement Disagreement

**The Double Girlfriend Dissent**

**I. The Roommate Agreement Disagreement**

"Hi," Penny called as she entered Apartment 4A, her eyes sweeping across the living room. Leonard was sitting on his usual chair and Sheldon was sitting on his spot, while Amy was sitting on her spot beside Sheldon. "Hey you," she smiled at Leonard, and walked over to sit on the arm of his chair. Before he could say anything, she gave him a lingering kiss.

"… Hey," he murmured when they broke apart, grinning from ear to ear.

"Hi Bestie," Amy said with a little wave.

"Hi Ames," Penny greeted, wiggling her eyebrows.

Sheldon rolled his eyes. "Now that we've established that Penny is indeed with us in this room, let's return to our discussion, which is only made even more urgent by her presence."

"What's he going on about?" She asked Leonard.

Her boyfriend shrugged. "Obsessing about the Roommate Agreement—standard Sheldon behavior."

"Excuse me, but there's nothing standard about today's revisions." Sheldon retorted. "We're at a new phase of our lives—for the first time, we both find ourselves in pairbonded states with females who also happen to be part of our social group."

"Isn't it exciting?" Amy gushed, practically bouncing on her seat. "Us besties going out with _these_ besties?"

Sheldon frowned. "Amy, 'besties' isn't a term I'd use to describe my relationship with Leonard—"

But his girlfriend raved on: "We can finally go on double dates, we'll be able to confide to each other about our relationships, and we can have slumber parties—oh, the two of you can even come one time on our boyfriend-girlfriend singalong night!"

"Boyfriend-girlfriend singalong…" Penny trailed off, glancing at Leonard questioningly. He slowly shook his head, mouthing: 'I have no friggin idea.'

"Not so hasty, Amy," Sheldon warned, holding up a hand. "FYI, in between her screeching that could wake up dead cats and his ear-bleeding howling, they're the last couple you'd want to include in our boyfriend-girlfriend singalong night. In any case, first things first—the Agreement, and how you two girls can fit into the arrangement without inconveniences."

"What do you mean by 'inconveniences?'" Penny hissed under her breath, but her boyfriend's weirdo roommate only ignored her.

"Now, where were we? Oh yes, public displays of affection. As for kissing, it should only be allowed in the form of a friendly greeting, like so," Sheldon turned to Amy and kissed both her cheeks.

His girlfriend shook her head. "That was hardly friendly, such a greeting is only suitable for acquaintances. _This_ is friendly." Before Sheldon could realize what had happened, she swiftly leaned forward and gave him a peck on the lips.

He visibly stiffened, his face frozen in a slightly wide-eyed look of stunned silence. But he composed himself and graciously carried on: "Um, yes, like so. No excessive touching and unnecessary exchange of saliva."

Penny crossed her arms over her chest, glowering at him. "Look Sheldon, I don't care if you still think that girls have cooties, but I'm not going to let you tell me and Leonard how to kiss."

"Now, Penny, you need not concern yourself over this matter," he said. "After all, Leonard's the signatory of the Roommate Agreement." He looked back at Leonard. "As always, the protocol regarding female overnight company stands. I expect advanced notices whenever Penny comes over for one of your, and I use this term loosely, 'sleepovers.'" He made quotation marks in the air.

"Sheldon, I've already told you about this, one cannot predict an act of passion," Leonard sighed. "I'm going to inform you of any overnight plans we have best as I can, but you'll have to expect that there will be some spontaneous instances here and there."

Penny gave him an incredulous look. "What are you talking about? Informing him of when we're going to be doing it—have you also gone crazy?"

Sheldon raised a finger to silence her and continued discussing with his roommate. "Leonard, I've made this very clear, if you must spontaneously engage in amorous activities, do it at her place."

"Fine," Leonard agreed. "But I call for at least three occasions of unplanned overnight stays for my female partner wherein the charge would be waived."

"You get three _only_," Sheldon countered. "And reciprocity ensures that I have the same privilege with respect to my female partner."

"Like you'd ever need to use it," Leonard snorted.

"Fair is fair."

"Opportunity paves the way for action," Amy quipped, winking at Leonard.

He gaped, blinking at a poker-faced Sheldon and then at a still beaming Amy. "A-Alright, done."

"Deal."

"Woah, woah, woah!" Penny held up her hands. "The hell the two of you think you're doing talking about our relationships, and when and what you're going to have with your girlfriends, when the two of us are sitting right here?"

"What do you mean?" Sheldon said airily. "It's better this way: at least both of you have gained some familiarity on what's expected of both of you as our girlfriends and your part in the Roommate Agreement."

"Leonard, tell this whackadoodle that some stupid agreement isn't going to dictate what happens in our relationship," she demanded, eyeing Sheldon. When she got no response, she whipped her head round at her boyfriend. "Leonard…!"

"It's not really going to affect anything," he reasoned, in a voice clearly meant to convince her to just shut up and play along. "It will be just like old times…"

She cocked an eyebrow. "Like old times, huh? And you know that 'us' in the old times didn't exactly work out?"

"All I meant was that you already know about my arrangement with Sheldon, and we can all reach a compromise—"

"Allow me to help you two with this," Sheldon interjected. "Leonard, your woman is clearly going to be disruptive to this activity of revision, you need to give her a talking-to. Penny, our Roommate Agreement has existed long before any of the boyfriend-girlfriend relationships in this group and is the sole bastion order in the midst of the chaos and uncertainty which this matter of 'romance' has introduced into our lives—no one screws with the Roommate Agreement."

Penny fixed a glare at the quirky physicist. "Sweetie, I don't care what your mother says—you _are_ crazy."

"Penny, he didn't really mean that," Leonard said.

"Of course I do," Sheldon affirmed. "I never say anything I don't mean."

"Unbelievable," she huffed, jumping to her feet. "Amy, we should go."

"Huh, wha..?" Amy glanced from her, to Sheldon, to Leonard, and back to her again. But as she stomped to the door, Amy stood up and followed her.

"Wait, Amy!" Sheldon cried. "We were supposed to play Counterfactuals after the revision of the Roommate Agreement."

His girlfriend bowed her head apologetically, looking at him through her lashes. "I'm sorry Sheldon, but my bestie needs me. Like the Girl Code says, 'sisters before misters.'" She shut the door behind her and went to Apartment 4B with Penny.

"Can you believe the nerve of them!" Penny hissed, slamming her own door shut. She stalked to her pantry and was about to grab a bottle of peppermint schnapps but her eye caught the six-bar pack of Snickers beside the bottle and she took that instead. Ripping the pack apart, she tore the wrapper off one bar and bit half of it, before tossing a bar at Amy, who clumsily caught the candy. "I mean, I always knew they were crazy with this whole Roommate Agreement, and I can live with that, but did they really have to talk about it while we were right there?"

Amy tilted her head uncertainly. "Well, it was convenient—as Sheldon said, at least we already know some of the clauses relevant to us."

Her friend's calm, logical voice and innocent face only fueled Penny's annoyance instead of soothing it. Poor Amy, she had such a rough time growing up that she didn't even know how it was to be normal and didn't realize that she had a nutso for a boyfriend! She clapped her hands on Amy's shoulders and gave her a little shake. "Ames, that was insensitive of them, talking about how they're going to fit us in their Agreement, without even asking us about it, as if we'd just agree to whatever they say. And come on, we're talking about romantic relationships here—it's personal, and it shouldn't be affected by their Roommate Agreement. They should let a relationship happen naturally, not beat it into whatever box their Agreement says it should go."

Those naive green eyes suddenly darkened in distress and the cardigan-clad shoulders drooped as Amy sighed. "When you put it that way… it does sound bad." She unwrapped the candy bar in her hands and started munching.

"Uh-huh." Penny nodded, stuffing the rest of the candy in her mouth. "_Oo no waff I fink_?" She thumped at her chest, swallowed the chocolate and said again: "You know what I think? I think we should teach them a lesson."

The neurobiologist paused with the candy halfway to her mouth. "How exactly are we going to do that?"

"We're going on strike. A _girlfriend_ strike," she emphasized. "They're going to remember that these ladies aren't like their little action figures they can pose and put away however and whenever they want, we are their girlfriends and they better treat us that way if they ever want to see any more boyfriend action…" she stared at Amy thoughtfully for two seconds, then continued, "well, whatever it is that counts as boyfriend action for Sheldon."

"Penny," Amy began seriously, "I know I'm a blooming social butterfly now, but despite my sparkling charm and new front-closure bras, I'm a novice in romantic relationships. Therefore, I'm unaware what a 'girlfriend strike' would entail."

"I don't know…" she shrugged. "Maybe we give them the silent treatment for starters? And then… well, I'm not really good at this-this—" she waved her hands around her head, "this mind messing stuff."

"You mean, psychological warfare?" Amy prompted.

"Yes, exactly! I didn't get to learn much about that. Back in Nebraska, any girl worth her salt would just go junior rodeo on her boyfriend if he deserves it. So I'm not really sure what to do…" she suddenly snapped her fingers, grinning wickedly. "But I know someone who would know."

* * *

><p>"Hi!" Bernadette chirped when the door to Penny's apartment was opened. Her two girl friends each grabbed one of her arms and steered her to the couch, seating her between them. "I hear that the two of you need coaching on how to conduct a successful girlfriend strike."<p>

"Yes," Amy nodded earnestly. "Seeing as I'm an innocent girl who knows not the ways of boyfriend manipulation, and Penny's farmgirl upbringing didn't train her for subtlety—though it paid off in the formation of her perfect physique."

Penny shook her head. "Bernadette, you're better than me at making a guy do things without using sex or punches, so spill."

"Well, the silent treatment is a good place to start," the petite microbiologist said. "But direct it at him, make sure he knows that _he_ is the problem, not you. Make it clear that you're displeased with him, but don't be bitchy—or he's going to think you're just PMS-ing and it's totally not his fault. Remain sweet and nice to other people, so they would see that you're being perfectly reasonable, it's your boyfriend who's wrong."

Amy placed her hands on her lap, gazing at her friends with doubt. "While I understand the general concept, I'm still going to have a problem with real-life application."

Bernadette patted the brunette's hands, smiling. "Don't worry Amy, I'll teach you the specifics. For our usual group dinner tomorrow, this is what you're going to do…"

**Author's Notes:** Shamy is my OTP, and I also wholeheartedly support LP and HB. This fic emerged from my longing to see Shamy plus LP with bestie parallel action on the show.


	2. The Physical Disconnection

**The Double Girlfriend Dissent**

**II. The Physical Disconnection**

Howard entered Apartment 4A with Bernadette, who was practically skipping. And humming. He could tell she was up to something and _very_ excited about it. He wasn't sure if he wanted to know…

"Hi!" Leonard greeted as he arranged the plates and utensils around the pizza boxes on the coffee table.

"Hi…" He peered around; Sheldon and Raj were taking soda and beer six-packs from the ref and the other girls weren't there yet. He wasn't sure whether to be nervous or relieved.

On the other hand, Bernadette was already perched on her usual chair by the right-hand side of the couch. She patted the chair beside hers. "Come on, Howie."

"You're one eager beaver, aren't you?" He muttered.

"What do you mean by that?" She asked in her most innocent voice.

Sheldon sat on his spot at the leftmost end of the couch and Raj took the other end, leaving the seat in between for Amy. The theoretical physicist glanced at the empty space and sighed.

"Amy's normally very punctual. It seems that Penny's untoward influence on her has reared its ugly head once again." He glared at Leonard.

"What do you expect me to do about it?" His roommate asked exasperatedly.

Before Sheldon could answer, the door swung open, and Amy and Penny entered.

"Hey!" Penny called to everyone.

"Sorry we're late," Amy said, demurely tucking a stray lock of hair behind her ear. "I'm afraid that was my fault, I had just gotten—"

"What happened to your eyes?" Sheldon demanded.

She glanced at him, and Howard saw Sheldon visibly startled and then stunned to silence. She quickly looked away and it was then that Howard noticed—Amy didn't have her glasses on.

"Contact lenses," she explained. "I had just gotten them and I had a difficult time putting them on… Penny was there as moral support."

Raj had been nodding approvingly. He suddenly grabbed Howard's shoulder and started whispering.

"Amy," Howard relayed, "Raj would like to tell you that your eyes sparkle like sparkling emeralds adorning the—" Raj huffed, angrily shook his head, and repeated his words. Howard tried again: "What Raj would like to tell you, is that your eyes are brighter and greener than the sparkling emeralds adorning the deep bosoms of the divine apsaras." He glowered at his selectively mute friend. "This is the last time you're making me say that kind of nosebleedingly flowery language."

Raj ignored him, and chose to grin cheekily at Amy instead.

"Why… thank you, Raj." She said.

Sheldon had been watching the exchange with the same stunned expression. He snapped to consciousness and hissed at Raj. "I'd thank you not to make inappropriate comments at my girlfriend."

"He wasn't being inappropriate Sheldon, he was just being sweet," Penny said.

"'Being sweet' is behavior that one would display to one's own girlfriend, not the girlfriend of one's own friends," he argued.

"Well maybe if one actually displayed that behavior, one's friends wouldn't have to do it for them," Penny retorted. "Put it down your apartment's schedule, and maybe you'll remember that."

"Touché," Bernadette chirped. Howard gave her a sidelong glance. She smiled sweetly at him.

Sheldon paused, eyes flickering as he processed the statement, then disregarded it. He looked searchingly at Amy. But she kept her gaze averted. Sheldon squirmed in his seat. Howard only ever saw him that uncomfortable when forced to sit in a different spot.

He smirked. This was actually kind of interesting…

Penny slumped in Leonard's usual armchair. He moved to sit beside her, but she grabbed Amy by the wrist and pulled her into the chair.

"Okay…" Leonard took the seat beside Sheldon, who started to protest, but Leonard pointed out: "I think your girlfriend can do without her spot for tonight."

Sheldon stared at Amy, who was looking everywhere but at him. He turned to Penny, scowling.

"Oh sorry, is this a violation of your Roommate Agreement?" She asked with mock innocence. "You probably have proper places in there for everything, including your girlfriend."

"As a matter of fact, ye—ouch!" Sheldon cried, rubbing at his side where Leonard elbowed him.

"Let's just eat," he said.

Everyone piled pizza slices on their plates and started eating. Much to Howard's relief, Raj opened a can of beer, took a swig, and started talking on his own: "Penny, what happened to your audition from a couple of days ago?"

"Oh, didn't get it," she pouted. "But the director did refer me to another audition, I went there today."

"How did it go?" Leonard asked.

Penny took a big bite of pizza and chewed deliberately. Leonard watched her expectantly, waiting. She chewed, chewed, chewed… finally she swallowed, washing it down with cola. "Sorry, just had to make sure I was following the 'apartment rule' about not talking with your mouth full."

Leonard winced. "Penny—"

"Well done Penny," Sheldon said. "Looks like there's hope even for a hillbilly to learn the ways of the city folk."

She bared her teeth in a smile that would've sent Howard running in another direction, but predictably, Sheldon carried on with the business of eating. Or rather, he carried on with the business of fiddling with his food as he glanced at his girlfriend who was currently talking to Raj and Penny.

Bernadette stood and headed to the kitchen. Howard followed her, and asked: "What are you girls up to?"

She took the bottle of Tabasco sauce from the counter and shook it over her pizza. "Just a little girlfriend strike to keep your friends in line."

He frowned. "As entertaining as it may be to watch other guys in misery, how do you expect to do that girlfriend strike—sure, that would work on Leonard, but you're also talking about _Sheldon_ here…"

"Sheldon might not mind being given the silent treatment, but did you know that his compulsion to gaze into his mate's eyes far exceeds the typical male's tendency to do so?" Bernadette whispered gleefully. "I've observed Sheldon and Amy's eye contact habits and it appears that eye contact is what Sheldon substitutes for physical acts of affection. With Amy refusing to make eye contact with him, he's going to freak!" She grinned in anticipation.

"So that's what that was about." Howard shuddered. "Remind me to consult with you if I'm ever in a position to destroy somebody mentally and emotionally."

"Of course, Howie Wowie."

They grabbed their food and the Tabasco sauce and returned to the living room. Presently, Raj was telling a story about a Q&A panel in an astrophysics conference, which appeared to be hilarious, judging by Penny's guffaws and Amy's amused smile. Sheldon was sulking at his mangled pizza slices, and Leonard alternately looked at Penny and chewed. He finally swallowed, cleared his throat resolutely, and said: "Penny, can I talk to you for a moment?"

"Hold on for a minute," she said to Amy and Raj, then turned to Leonard, with that scarily toothy smile on her face. "Yes?"

"I meant in private."

"But Leonard, that would be _so_ rude," she said, widening her eyes in an expression that was probably meant to be innocent but only came out as intimidating. "We're having a…" she pulled out a bound document and read, "… communal meal, which includes non-optional socialization and intelligent conversation. No interruptions are to be tolerated, and the entire group is expected to finish the said meal together."

He frowned. "Is that the revised Roommate Agreement?"

"Yes," she said. "After all, there really is no excuse to not be updated, after you've so thoughtfully included us, the inconvenient girlfriends, during your discussions."

Leonard sighed. "Look, I get it, you're still mad about what happened yesterday…"

"Are you _implying_ that I shouldn't be?" Her widened eyes practically bulged.

"Well… uh—that's not it," he muttered. "I'm just wondering why you didn't give me a bug report, so we can figure it out together. Even if we're out of the Beta Test, we agreed to work things out like that."

"Oh so that's it—if I think there's a problem, I have to do this bug report thing, but if you and your whackadoodle roommate think I have a problem, you're just going to write what I have to do in your stupid agreement and expect me to do it?"

"That's not it—"

"Of course that's it," Sheldon interrupted. "We write it there because she has terrible habits that need fixing—"

"Zzzt!" Leonard made the shut-up-don't-ask-questions sign at his roommate.

Penny growled. "That's unfair!"

"Totally unfair," Raj agreed.

"And you, Sheldon Cooper! Taking advantage of how your girlfriend has no experience in relationships and pulling all sorts of crap—you've gone too far this time."

"Oh no, you didn't." Raj shook his head.

Howard snickered, earning a frown from Leonard. "What?" He shrugged at his bespectacled friend. "I didn't say anything…"

"Excuse me, but you don't know what you're talking about," Sheldon scoffed. "Amy and I have a functional relationship that operates in accordance to our Relationship Agreement. I don't expect you to understand, since your attitude to life is random and unmethodical, but Amy and I are better than that—right Amy?"

Amy spared him a split-second glance, tilting her head pensively.

"Yeah sure, you ditch her family party for your geeky sleepover, you're really the best boyfriend ever," Penny retorted.

"More like, worst ever!" Raj exclaimed.

Leonard glared at him. "You made him come to that sleepover!"

"Yeah, but if it had been _my_ girlfriend, I wouldn't have ditched her for you guys."

Amy huffed and purposely shifted away from Sheldon, who gaped at her.

"Penny, don't you think you might be blowing this out of proportion?" Leonard ventured.

"Oh, so I'm a drama queen now, is that it?"

"That's not what I said."

"But that is what you meant." She stood up, putting her hands on her hips. "If you want blowing out of proportion, you'll get blowing out of proportion."

He blinked at her. "I never said I wanted blowing out of proportion…"

"Doesn't matter!" She cried. "Because that's what you'll get. This means girlfriend strike—say goodbye to your boyfriend privileges!" She stormed out of Apartment 4A.

Amy stood up, demurely patting down her cardigan, and without so much as a look at Sheldon, followed Penny.

Bernadette grinned at them all, saying: "Looks like this ended up as Girls' Night, gotta go—see you later, Howie!" She blew a kiss at her fiancé before flouncing after her friends.

"Ohhh, you guys are in such trouble!" Raj said in singsong.

"Thanks for the help, buddy," Leonard grumbled.

"You're welcome, it's fun to see trouble in other guys' paradise." Raj took another swig of beer.

"What are you going to do?" Howard asked. "Sheldon's… well, Sheldon, it's not like there's anything his girlfriend can hold out on him, but you…"

Realization dawned in Leonard's eyes and he dropped his face on his palm.

"That's what you get for your choice of a mate," Sheldon said haughtily. "Mine is bound to come around to the right way, despite your mate's bad influence. But yours is simply hopeless."

Howard gawked at the weirdo and mumbled: "Oh, I'm sure your mate has a few tricks up her sleeve, if my Bernie had anything to do with it..."

* * *

><p>Leonard stood at the door, watching Bernadette leave from across the hall and take Howard's hand. Raj followed the couple, too tipsy to be trusted to drive himself home.<p>

Amy stepped out, waving at Penny who had walked her to the door. Behind Leonard, Sheldon instinctively stepped forward. But she headed for the stairs without even looking at her boyfriend, who stalked back inside Apartment 4A with a very disconcerted expression on his face.

Penny was gripping the edge of her door as if she was preparing to slam it, so Leonard hurtled forward and said in his most appeasing voice: "Penny… I don't want to fight."

She eyed him warily, then exited her apartment, meeting him in the hallway. "You think I want to?"

"No, of course not." He sighed. "I really want to make this work…"

"So do I."

"I understand that you're angry about what happened yesterday," he said. "I guess that was careless of me…"

Her eyes softened and she twined her arms loosely upon his shoulders. "So you admit you were wrong?"

"Yes," he nodded. She smiled, trailing one hand down his chest to rest upon his belly. He gulped. "Well, uh… I really should've given you a heads-up about that…"

"Yeah," she said, pulling him flush against her. "Look, I know you have to go along with your whacko roommate's weirdness, but sometimes we need for things to be normal…"

"I know…" He said as her face slowly drew closer. "And so the next time that happens, give me a bug report."

Her lips stopped a couple of inches away from his and she frowned. "One, you shouldn't even think of letting a 'next time' happen, and two, you're still going on about that bug report?"

"Well you have to admit, you didn't follow the established protocols of our relationship."

"So you're saying I was wrong?"

He cocked an eyebrow. "I have to admit I was wrong but you don't?"

"You were wrong first!" She cried. "That kind of erases my wrong."

"That doesn't make sense."

The way she fumed, Leonard imagined smoke spouting from her ears. She drew back, and he had to suppress a groan as the curves of her body pressed against him and slipped away. "Now I'm the problem again?"

"I didn't say that," he protested. "You're always putting words in my mouth—"

"Hah!" She yelled triumphantly. "You said 'always.'"

"I didn't really mean—"

"You still don't get it. I don't want to talk to you right now." She crossed her arms over her chest, deliberately swept her gaze downwards his body and snarled: "Have fun tonight, little Leonard." She stomped her way to her apartment and slammed the door.

Leonard slapped his forehead, hoping that Sheldon wouldn't give him grief for taking a suspiciously long shower.

* * *

><p>Sheldon stood at the kitchen counter, finishing his breakfast. Today was oatmeal day and it was Leonard's responsibility to prepare it. But predictably, he had been affected by his pairbonded female's primitive method of behavior modification and had woken up late.<p>

The errant roommate finally emerged from the bathroom, wrapped in a robe and his hair dripping wet. "Good morning Leonard," Sheldon greeted. "After you had neglected today's responsibility, I gallantly fulfilled it—the oatmeal's in that pot. Although, it has most likely gone cold, given how you spent too much time in the shower this morning." He gave the homunculus a look of disapproval.

Leonard stared at him with bleary, unblinking eyes, before finally snapping: "Shut up."

"Really, that's the best comeback you can come up with?" He snorted derisively. "Although I shouldn't wonder. Your demeanor has always been too vulnerable to the influence of your baser urges, and given how your mate has suspended your 'boyfriend privileges,' I can see how that has taken its toll on you today."

"…" Leonard scooped himself some oatmeal in a bowl.

"See, this is the disadvantage of a physical relationship," he said. "Penny's able to greatly alter your over-all condition simply by withholding your bedmate status. After a while, you'll have no choice but to cave in to her ridiculous demands. But Amy and I have a relationship of the mind—I have no dependence on any physical acts she might perform, so she can't coerce me into straying from the path of rightness. And I'm confident that with the strength of our intellectual bond, she'll soon see the error of her ways and desist from this girlfriend strike."

"Again," Leonard growled, "Shut up."

"Leonard, you don't have time to heat your oatmeal!" He cried, when his roommate walked to the microwave. "We're going to be late for work."

"I'll just nuke it for thirty seconds," Leonard muttered through gritted teeth.

"Instead of taking the time to use the microwave, you're talking to me, you're wasting time."

"Nevermind," Leonard hissed, putting the bowl in the sink. "I'll dress and we'll go to the university now." He stalked off to his room.

"Breakfast is the most important meal of the day you know," he called. "Forsaking it would lead to a lower mental performance—though at your level, that isn't saying much."

His roommate spun around and glowered at him. "One more word, and I'm leaving you here."

Sheldon pursed his lips, resisting the urge to respond. When Leonard had disappeared to his room, Sheldon shook his head. "How regrettable that such a little thing as a girlfriend's misconduct could reduce an already challenged man as Leonard to that absurd state of being unable to concentrate and utterly foul-tempered."

**Author's Notes:** This is ridiculously delayed, I know. I had a terrible case of writer's block, and I kept writing and rewriting this chapter and the result was terrible every time, until I finally had to make do… At this current point in the series, it's also difficult to cheer up the Shamy shipper heart. I would really appreciate reviews, especially right now, so please, that would be nice. I'll be working on the next chapter as soon as this is uploaded.

**P.S.** Heard of the Big Bang Big Bang? Hoping other Shamy ficcers will join that! :D


	3. The Anxiety Accumulation

**The Double Girlfriend Dissent**

**III. The Anxiety Accumulation**

Amy Farrah Fowler woke up, instinctively reaching for her cellphone. Like every day since she had known Sheldon, barring extraordinary circumstances, she had the following text from him: "_Good morning, Amy."_

She started to key in her own 'Good morning' message, then remembered—state of emergency as the only exception, under no circumstances should she communicate with Sheldon. Bernadette had said so last night, during their impromptu Girls' Night, when Sheldon had texted her: _"You behaved most irrationally tonight, but I understand that the combination of female hormones and the pressure of Penny's cavewoman antics made you do it. If you apologize, I'll forgive you."_

"_Cavewoman antics?" Penny seethed, when Amy showed them the message. "Well you can tell him that he's a total nutcase and—"_

"_No," Bernadette said firmly, grasping Amy's wrist before she could start texting. "Until the strike is over, you'll cut all forms of communication with Sheldon. I know how the two of you text, call, videocall, Skype, email, Twitter, and Facebook nonstop when you're not together. The frequency of your usual communication will mean that he'll feel your absence and silence much more keenly." The calculating glint in her eye was so chilling that Amy felt the first stirrings of misgivings about the whole plan._

"_Oooh… you're right. They never ever stop messaging each other. I'm sure he'll go crazy if Amy stops replying," Penny cackled._

_Amy bit her lip. She didn't want Sheldon to 'go crazy' or experience some other negative side-effects due to this girlfriend strike. "Penny, Bernadette, this course of action might be too extreme. Moreover, I'm bound by the Relationship Agreement to respond to his communications."_

"_Ames, you once asked me how you can make him treat you better. This is the way." Penny assured her. "And don't worry too much about his reaction; he'll complain about you not following his agreement, it's not like he'll be all hurt up from your silent treatment."_

_A leaden weight dropped to the pit of Amy's stomach and she felt her face fall. Penny was right. It's not like Sheldon will actually _miss_ her…_

_Bernadette must've noticed her expression and squeezed her hand. "Amy, you're my friend, my maid of honor even. I care about you. I'm only telling you to do this for your own good." Penny nodded vehemently at that._

"… _Okay then," she said. "But what about if there's an emergency?"_

"_Of course if it's an emergency, that would be an exception," Bernadette said._

"_And by emergency we mean what most people call an emergency, not Sheldon's little 'emergencies,'" Penny clarified._

"_Oh." She was afraid of her friends would say exactly that._

Since that first message, she had received five more messages from him:

"_If you apologize, I'll even consider not giving you a strike."_

"_Alright, if you cease and desist from this strike business at once, then you are considered forgiven and strike-free."_

"_Amy, you know very well that prompt responses from both parties is one of the stipulations of the Relationship Agreement. You are once again facing the possibility of being given a strike."_

"_Are you already at home? It's after 12 midnight. There was news about an assailant who waits for women in parking lots."_

"_Are you sleeping? We'll talk about today's incidents tomorrow."_

She reread his last few messages. It almost seemed like he was actually fretful about this version of silent treatment she was employing. She was wondering if she should at least wish him a good morning when the phone beeped in her hand and she nearly dropped it. It was Sheldon. She sucked in a breath.

"_I believe I shouldn't overlook your transgression further; while your strike for last night's girlfriend strike business has been waived, you now have a strike for violating the requirement for prompt responses."_

Her breath came out in a huff. Of course, that would be it.

While she prepared and ate breakfast, the phone beeped once more. Unable to resist, she peeked: _"Are you still sleeping? If you don't wake up soon, you'll be late for work."_

She tilted her head, unsure what to make of it. From any other boyfriend, that would be kinda-sorta sweet. But this was Sheldon, he was probably thinking that a lapse in professionalism could hurt her chances of winning the Nobel prize.

That… would actually be kinda-sorta sweet, coming from him.

After that message, he called her cellphone. She hurried to her bathroom to distance herself from the temptation of answering the call. Anyway, if she did answer, he'd probably go on a tirade about her behavior and her strikes. She sighed. Of course, what did she expect?

After her shower, she walked out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel, drying her hair with another towel. When she heard the all-too familiar Skype ringtone, she walked to her laptop and automatically answered the call. She froze when Sheldon's face filled the screen. She was about to end the call, but he breathed her name: "Amy?"

She realized how foreign she must look to him, with her hair wet and her shoulders bare. He was staring at her with an expression that could either be revulsion or enthrallment. She knew which option she preferred and which option was more likely. Unfortunately, they weren't the same option.

He held her gaze with wide blue eyes. Remembering what Bernadette said about eye contact, she forced herself to look away.

"Where are your clothes?"

She shifted so he can see her towel. "I'm in a towel."

He made a strangled sound, and she couldn't help glancing at him. His eyes were nearly bugging out and held something akin to disapproval. She dropped her gaze again, disappointed. "You should wear a robe."

"Then I will." She pushed down the screen..

"But wait, I need to talk—" His voice was abruptly cut off when she closed the laptop.

As Amy dressed, she swatted away her unlikely hopes. Of course this was all about the Relationship Agreement, and not Sheldon acting like any other boyfriend. Of course.

She was going out the door when her home phone rang. She remembered to check caller ID. It displayed Sheldon's home phone number. Stunned, she waited for the message to go to the answering machine.

"Amy, it's Sheldon. As soon as you're properly dressed, I would like to ask you to call me back."

He didn't even start ranting on her machine. Perhaps he was saving his lecture for when she was on the other end to listen. Amy resolutely walked out her apartment.

Once at work, she checked both work and personal email accounts and was surprised that he had sent five mails in her work email and eleven mails in her personal email. She had known how persistent he was, and couldn't help a flutter of excitement upon seeing how persistent he was being _for her_. His purpose was to hold her to the requirements in the Agreement, but still…

As the day went on, he continued sending messages, calling her cellphone and work phone, and requesting Skype chats. It became increasingly easier to resist the urge to respond. She still read every message she sent, and stared at his name on the screen, but she didn't respond. Penny and Bernadette knew more about relationships than she did, so she should listen to them.

She soon had to stop pondering her relationship with Sheldon when her advisees from the graduate program entered her laboratory. She demonstrated her brain dissection process, giving them some tips—all three gentlemen found such delicate work rather challenging. As she gave her demonstration, they elbowed each other out of the way and listened to her in rapt attention. What a relief that the future of the neurobiology program was insured by the presence of such eager young students.

"Let's stop here for now," she announced. "You should take your lunch and we'll meet here again in an hour."

The three young men looked at each other, and after some elbowing, the one in the middle, a bespectacled fellow with curly black hair and large dark eyes, was pushed forward. "Um, Dr. Fowler, why don't you join us for lunch today?"

Before she could answer, one of the other students said: "We're going to the new Greek restaurant down the street. It's going to be Henry's treat."

The young man in the middle nodded his head, pushing up his glasses.

"It's inappropriate for an advisor to receive favors from their students," she said.

They looked crestfallen. "But Dr. Fowler, these are complimentary gift checks for the restaurant, it would be a shame not to use them," the student named Henry said.

"Well…" She supposed it wouldn't be any harm. Besides, she hardly ever got to eat Greek food since Sheldon despised it and moussaka sounded inviting right now. "Very well then."

"Alright!" The students high-fived each other, and she found herself smiling at their frolics. They started to head out, but upon reaching the laboratory door, it was flung open, banging on the wall.

Sheldon stood at the doorway. He was breathing hard and his skin glistened with light perspiration, as if he had been running. His hair had a windblown look to it and seemed to be missing his usual hair gel. He stripped off his windbreaker and wiped the back of his hand across his forehead.

She blinked, mouth dropping slightly open at the sight of her panting, deliciously disheveled boyfriend.

"Amy," he finally managed to say. He waved the copy of the Relationship Agreement he was holding. "You have violated our Agreement. What do you have to say for yourself?"

She lowered her eyes, avoiding the piercing blue-eyed gaze that peered at her so intently. "Nothing for now. The Agreement states that all visits during work hours must be scheduled at least twenty-four hours in advance. So—"

"I'm declaring a state of emergency!" He declared. "We are now required to have a meeting until we reach a resolution."

She nearly sat down to talk with him, but Bernadette and Penny would say that this wouldn't count. She kept silent, pointedly looking away from him and thinking how to best escape confrontation for now.

"Dr. Fowler?"

She glanced at her three students. They were all nearly as tall as Sheldon, but they regarded him with apprehension, quite understandable since he was much broader now and he could be very intimidating when riled up. Henry asked meekly: "Should we go?"

"Yes," Sheldon snapped.

"_No_." she insisted. "Sheldon, my advisees and I are going out for lunch. We shall converse some other time." Staring straight ahead, she walked past him, motioning at the three students to follow her, which they did readily.

"Amy," he said in a low voice that was undoubtedly accompanied by his irresistible puppy dog eyes. She steeled herself to keep on walking, knowing that if she so much at looked at him, she'd be putty in his hands.

She swatted away the silly thought that Sheldon might be missing her. He might be aware of her tendency to sentimentality, like all other humans, and indulged it on rare occasions, but he never suffered such moments himself. "No way, definitely not. Of course not. " She murmured under her breath.

"Excuse me?" Her advisees inquired.

"Nothing. Let's proceed to lunch."

* * *

><p>As soon as Leonard stepped out of Apartment 4A, Penny stepped out of Apartment 4B. She sashayed ahead of him, giving him a perfect view of her back in her backless top and her booty in her booty shorts. He knew that she had retired such outfits for more covering—though no less appealing—clothing in the past couple of years. Yet for the past two days, she had paraded in front of him in skimpy outfits.<p>

He could've sworn that she was actually waiting until she heard his door open, before emerging in all her sheer and short and strappy glory. It pained him to admit that much as the sight tortured him, considering the "girlfriend strike" status of their relationship, he had actually gone of out of his way to create errands so they could accidentally-on-purpose bump each other in the hallway. In two days, he had done his laundry twice, picked up milk twice, volunteered to buy dinner twice, and checked the mail God-knows-how-many times. And every single time, Penny had pranced around him in teeny-tiny clothing.

He checked the mailbox—of course it was empty, he had taken the mail an hour ago—and slowly shuffled to the stairs. By "coincidence," Penny had finished talking to the building manager and flounced up the stairs. Leonard dragged out the climb, and Penny managed to keep just ahead of him.

Opening their doors proved to be clumsy affair, with both struggling to insert and turn keys while sneaking glances at each other. When they finally swung the doors open, they stared at each other for a few seconds. Leonard almost yelled out: "Okay, okay, I give up! You girls win."

"Kolinahr," he grumbled to himself before marching in and slamming the door shut. He heard Penny slam her own door as well, rattling the hinges.

"Kolinahr," he grumbled again, plopping on the couch and attempting to fold his legs into a passable meditation position. When he got his limbs to obey him, he closed his eyes and focused his will. He and Sheldon had a pact that they would not fold to the girls' wiles. It would be significantly easier for Sheldon to do so, but he wouldn't accept defeat this time. That's right, they'll show their women who's boss. They won't give up, they won't give in, they—

"Leonard, Leonard, Leonard!" Sheldon burst through the door, his face contorted in a particularly unsettling version of his crazy look. "Let's give up! Let's give in! Let's stop this now!"

"What?" He grunted.

"It has been almost 48 hours since I have properly communicated with Amy Farrah Fowler. I have absolutely no idea what her present condition is!" His roommate awkwardly paced the living room, looking like a nervous praying mantis, though an almost buff one. "Yesterday, I came to her lab only to find three _male_ students hovering around her and taking her out for lunch, despite the fact that she's very much pairbonded to a far more accomplished and intellectually superior male. Today, I headed to her lab as soon as her work hours are over, only to find out that she has already left. Where ever could she be, what is she doing, and why does she _still_ refuse to respond to my communications?" He pulled at his noticeably messy hair.

He raised an eyebrow. "Run that by me again, did you say that you told me to go ahead after work because you checked on Amy, _again_?"

"What part of what I said was unclear?" Sheldon barked. "Yes, I went to see Amy."

"And how did you get home?"

"I..." Sheldon shuddered. "I took the bus."

"Without your bus pants?"

Sheldon rolled his eyes. "Thank you for so callously reminding me of that hazardous experience."

"Hmm..." he tapped his fingers on his knee, unsure what to think of what he had just heard.

"Leonard, can we go back to the matter at hand?" His roommate cried. "We need to call the women over here and make them cancel the strike by any means necessary."

"Absolutely not!" He retorted.

"Why not?"

"Sheldon, right now the only way the girls will cancel the strike is if we apologize to them and admit we were wrong. Do you want to do that?"

"No!" His roommate yelped. "That's ridiculous."

"Well then, our only choice is to show them that we're in control and rational despite their unsporting behavior, and they'll eventually miss us and... call off the strike by themselves..." he finished, with far less certainty than he would've liked. That last part was probably a longshot.

"No doubt, Amy will miss me and return to me in a state of penitence for her actions," Sheldon said confidently. "Although... what if something happens to her before then and I won't even find out because she refuses to communicate with me? I haven't checked if that bobcat has returned to her neighborhood..."

"No bobcat is going to eat Amy," he assured.

"How can you be sure? She smells like an enticingly sweet, fruity forest, the bobcat could very well mistake her for food and—"

"Stop it Sheldon!" He jumped from the couch and grabbed his friend by the shoulders, shaking him. "Focus."

Sheldon moved his lips silently for a few moments, then he pushed Leonard's hands away and nodded. "You're right Leonard. I should focus on my efforts to communicate with Amy Farrah Fowler. She needs to face up to this flagrant violation of the Relationship Agreement. I'll try Skype again." He grabbed his laptop and bounded to his room.

Leonard watched him go and shook his head. "Noob."

**Author's Notes:** The decline in interest in this fic is quite disheartening. If you liked the fic, especially enough to have it on alert, then I'd really appreciate a review. If you don't like it, well I don't know why you're following it, but *okayface*. For those who _are_ enjoying this fic, I think I've got a good resolution in the works for you. And thank you, to those who do take time to review.


	4. The Desperation Threshold

**The Double Girlfriend Dissent**

**IV. The Desperation Threshold**

Raj thought that Sheldon looked like someone had run their fingers through his hair. The mussed look was quite sexy—or as close to sexy as Sheldon could possibly be—but the way the theoretical physicist scribbled in a frenzy all over his whiteboard, stopping only to wring his hands or gawp around wildly or shake his head vehemently, clarified how much less titillating reality was compared to expectation.

"Umm… Shel—"

"Good lord!" His officemate screeched, tugging at his messy hair. "The math proves that in the sixty-seven hours that I've been separated from Amy Farrah Fowler, there's a 0.008% chance that she would get trapped in a malfunctioning elevator. And I wouldn't even know because the woman's being obstinate!"

"Calm down," Raj grabbed Sheldon by the arm, walking him to his chair as he started hyperventilating. "You know, you're too anxious right now, you really should check your math."

"Oh dear, you're right!" He groaned, clawing at his face.

Raj spluttered. "I am?"

"The odds could very well be higher!"

"Sheldon, snap out of it!" Raj yelled. "I know you're in a relationship crisis right now, but panicking isn't going to help, you need to get moving."

"You're right."

"Again?" Raj gasped. "This is bad, this is really bad…"

The tall man jumped off the chair and paced, nearly mowing Raj down. "I'm going to do something productive. I'm going to get that bobcat trap." He scuttled out of the office before Raj could stop him.

Sheldon had spent the first third of their workday attempting to contact his girlfriend, the second third of the day plotting how to plant a surveillance camera in her apartment while girlfriend strike was still on, and the last part calculating the odds of disasters befalling her: anything from not getting extra gravy for her takeout fried chicken to meeting a long-haired, brawny fellow who looked like he could ride a horse bareback, the last one clearly only disastrous for Sheldon himself. Raj had been warned by Leonard that the whackadoodle was on a whole new level of crazy these days, but Sheldon always managed to surprise him. He shook his head. "The poor dude." He grinned and started cackling uncontrollably. "Serves him right for giving us grief through all these years regarding romantic attachments! Mwahahahahahah—"

Howard strode in the office and halted near the door. "… What the hell are you doing?"

"Can't a fellow laugh maniacally in his own office without being interrogated about it?" Raj returned to his seat, throwing his legs on top of his magnificent desk with what he hoped was a debonair flair. "What brings you here, Howard?"

"Come on, get your feet off that disproportionate desk, we're going to Leonard's for pizza and Halo," his best friend said. "Bernie's waiting for us in the parking lot."

"Pizza and Halo and Bernadette?" He frowned. "But the first two aren't scheduled for tonight, and women have been banned from joining Halo night."

"Sheldon has gone off the deep end and you know what that means—freedom!" The little Jew threw his arms in the air and cheered.

"Seems legit." With that, Raj grabbed his keys and drove his friends to 2311 North Los Robles Avenue. They climbed to the fourth floor and knocked at Apartment 4A; Leonard opened the door with a slightly-too-big grin on his face.

"Thank God you guys are here: Sheldon's off God-knows-where, and I'm really worried, and yet I can't do anything to help, and I need good food and good company right now," he said in a rush.

Not having had a single drop of alcohol, Raj could only pat his arm soothingly.

"Relax. We called the pizza place before we drove here, the order should arrive soon," Howard told him. "We're going to thoroughly distract you from the drought of love afflicting your heart, soul, and body." He smirked at the last.

"Haha, very funny," Leonard rolled his eyes.

The door across the hallway swung open, and Penny appeared, clad in the shortest denim shorts Raj had ever seen and a translucent floral camisole that fluttered just above her belly button. He couldn't stop his mouth from dropping open.

"Well, that's a cruel mirage if I ever saw one," Howard jeered, yelping when Bernadette elbowed him in the gut.

"Hi Penny!" Bernadette trilled.

"Hi everyone!" The other blonde cheered with far too much vigor. "What are you doing?"

"Pizza and Halo," she replied, and proudly added: "I'm joining!"

"Pizza and Halo? And you're joining?" Penny planted her hands on her hips and tutted. "But two of those things aren't scheduled and the little girls have been banned from Halo after proving that they can serve the big boys' squishy tushies on a silver platter."

"I don't know," Bernadette said in sing-song. "They invited me, so here I am!"

Raj was beginning to feel uncomfortable about their melodious little exchange. If war suddenly broke out, he knew full well that the teeny-tiny microbiologist would switch to the other side of the corridor and proceed to hand him and the rest of the guys their squishy tushies.

Penny gasped in mock amazement. "My goodness, it looks like someone isn't following the Roommate Agreement."

"To hell with the Roommate Agreement," Leonard growled through clenched teeth.

"Ooh…" Bernadette cooed. Raj whistled. Howard scrunched up his nose at them both.

"_Honey_," she said in a voice like a sugar-dusted knife. "You say that now, when all this has happened?"

"Hey, you girls called a girlfriend strike, you're not the only ones who can shake things up!" He retorted.

"Whatever, the entire problem is how you guys can't handle shaking things up!" She snapped back.

"Soooo true," Bernadette nodded. Howard uneasily tugged at his turtleneck.

"Good grief Penny, if you'd just let it go, we can move on with our lives."

"Yeah, this has gone on long enough, make up and make out—ow!" Howard cried, glaring at Bernadette who had elbowed him again.

"I don't want to let it go!" She yelled, stomping her foot. "If I 'let it go' it'll just be the same thing the next time, tip-toeing around you and your wacko friend's Roommate Agreement, over and over again, until the time we're married and have kids and turn old and gray, it'll still be about the Roommate Agreement!"

Silence descended upon the group. Penny was puffing hard, glaring at Leonard who squinted at her.

"The time we're _married_?" He prompted.

"Why, you don't want to be married to me?" She seethed.

"I didn't say that," he groaned exasperatedly. "Look, I don't know why you're in such a bad mood lately, is it just PMS or what..?" He stopped, his mouth drawn in a straight line, clearly knowing he said something he shouldn't have.

"What..?" Her eyes blazed and her nostrils flared. "How dare you, is that the only thing you can say, that's such a stereotype, and how can you make jokes about it, what if you bleed from your family jewels every month, do you want me to make jokes about that, little Leonard?"

She looked like she was about to hog-tie them, so Howard grabbed Leonard's arm and cried: "Run!" Raj grabbed the other arm and they fled to the sanctuary of Apartment 4A.

"Whew, that was close," Bernadette sighed.

Raj gave her a questioning look.

"Oh, I ran with you guys because Penny _is_ probably going through PMS and I wouldn't want to be around her while she's that mood," she giggled. "Our cycles have actually synced up, so I know."

Raj gave her another questioning look.

Ever so languidly, she smiled. "Just because you don't notice it, doesn't mean I'm not going through PMS. Unless you _want_ to notice it?"

Raj shuddered and decided that was enough questioning looks for one night.

* * *

><p><em>Knock, knock, knock, <em>"Amy."_  
>Knock, knock, knock, <em>"Amy."_  
>Knock, knock, knock, <em>"Amy."

Sheldon waited with bated breath. When he heard movement inside Amy's apartment, he nearly exhaled in relief then remembered—it could very well be the marauders who have invaded his girlfriend's home. Fearing for his own safety and yet knowing that it's the boyfriend's duty to ensure the girlfriend's safety, he held his ground, growing more fearful by the second.

The door swung open to reveal Amy, apparently safe and sound, the slight swaying of her figure and the tilt of her head more diverting than he remembered them to be in the past few days of her absence. "Sheldon… what brings you here?"

He fidgeted, but said firmly: "Even while we are in a state of boyfriend-girlfriend quarrel, I believe social protocol would still indicate that you invite me into your home when I visit."

She clung to the door and glanced sideways, avoiding his eyes. She did a double-take at the metal contraption hanging from his hand. "What's that?"

"Oh this…" he yanked at the chain with the jagged mouth at the end. "It's a foot-hold trap, my father used them when baiting bobcats."

She raised an eyebrow. "Bobcats."

"Yes, bobcats." He cleared his throat. "Amy, I'm still standing outside your door."

"Yes, you are." She agreed. "I believe it's acceptable convention for girlfriends to shut out from their home the boyfriends who have displeased them."

"That may be so, but you should remember that tonight is Movie Night at your apartment, which, along with Date Night, Zoo Day, Museum Afternoon, and Girlfriend-Boyfriend Singalong Night, is an activity required by the Relationship Agreement." He pressed closer, so only the door separated them, trying to ignore the alluring fruity scent about her.

She backed away, and he took the opportunity to slip through her door, leaving the trap outside. Crossing her arms, she said: "Due to the present 'girlfriend strike' status of our relationship, all such activities are indefinitely suspended."

"But I have a documentary about koalas." He retrieved the DVD from his windbreaker pocket and flourished it in the air.

She spun around and started walking away. "That's of no interest to me, goodbye—"

"Wait, Amy!" He grabbed her shoulder.

She slowly turned her head, glancing at the hand on her shoulder then at his face. He felt his cheeks grow hot and abruptly dropped his hand.

"What?" She asked, in a voice too breathy for his comfort.

Panic started to creep along his nerves. He couldn't believe he even thought to suggest what he was about to suggest but… on the other hand, she was about to leave and this could be the one thing he could do that could change her mind. "As you're in a state of distress, it would be my duty to…" he gulped, "Provide-you-with-intimacy-and-physical-contact-and-cuddle-with-you."

Her lashes fluttered as she blinked rapidly, lips parted—was it an illusion, or were they especially shiny today? He swatted away the thought and focused on her.

Her shiny lips finally moved, forming one word: "Pardon?"

Half of him wanted to flee, dodging her question, but the other half knew that if he left now, his chances of being able to talk to Amy Farrah Fowler during this god-forsaken girlfriend strike were slim at best. He gritted his teeth and said: "I propose that we cuddle—for your sake of course, since your feminine sensibilities subject you to the need to seek comfort from your significant other."

She stared at him, bosom heaving with deep breaths. She suddenly looked away. "No."

"No?" He echoed incredulously. Amy had never rejected an opportunity for physical intimacy, in fact she was the one who sought it, especially when she was emotionally compromised. What was happening?

"No." She repeated. Stepping past him, she flung the door open. "And we're done here, it's time for you to go."

"But…" He automatically walked out, stopping just outside the doorway. "We're saying goodbye now."

"Yes. Goodbye, Sheldon."

"Goodbye, Amy." He screwed his eyes shut and braced himself for the customary goodbye kiss she had finagled out of him as an inclusion to Movie Nights in her apartment.

The door shut with a resolute _click_.

His eyes flew open and he gaped at the closed door. "But that's not how it is in the Relationship Agreement!"

The door remained closed. His lips tingled in protest. That mystifying hotsy-totsy! How can she change the entire routine for the night? This girlfriend strike was a complete and total nightmare. Trying to pay no heed to the increasingly itchy sensation on his mouth, he picked up the bobcat trap and dragged it behind him as he shuffled down the corridor.

**Author's Notes: **Thank you very much, reviewers. I was going to justify my little needy-greedy spiel from the last chapter, but now... thank you. It's really great to know what readers think. I'm going to start working on the next chapter, although it might take a while before I can upload it since I'm going on a trip soon. Please let me know what you think of this update as well.


	5. The Intervention Solution

**The Double Girlfriend Dissent**

**V. The Intervention Solution**

Amy looked around at the table occupied by the rest of their social circle. She clutched at Penny, who was scowling at everyone.

"Sit down," Bernadette said. She took her seat beside Howard at one end.

"I thought this was Girls' Night?" Amy whispered loudly to her bestie.

"She set us up!" Penny hissed. "I was wondering why you asked to meet at the Cheesecake Factory."

Bernadette batted her eyelashes and said sweetly: "Even you are not going to make a scene and storm out of your workplace after all."

Elbows on the table, Howard rested his chin upon his laced fingers and regarded them sternly. "This girlfriend strike has gone far enough. As funny as it would be to see Sheldon attempt to kill off Pasadena's non-existent wild bobcat population, that would just make Leonard suffer and go insane and he'd be sent off to his mother who'd do experiments on him. Besides, we can't have Sheldon going supervillain on us, he recently received a grant that he could very well channel into making a death ray. This calls for an intervention."

Raj took a sip of wine, then said: "Or as Carrie and the girls would say—an interfriendtion."

Penny threw herself on the chair across Leonard's, glaring at him then at Bernadette. "Traitor, you were supposed to be on our side! What was your price?"

"A trip to Hawaii just the two of us," Bernadette grinned, unfazed by the other blonde's blazing eyes. "No cellphones, so his mother can't text or call us every hour. You understand, don't you?"

Penny grumbled, but didn't say anything. Amy took the seat across Sheldon's, sitting with her back straight and her hands on her lap.

"Lovely ladies, what would it take for these sad, pathetic, completely unworthy gentlemen to get back to your good graces?" Raj asked, merely smirking when Sheldon and Leonard glowered at him. "Do tell, that they may accomplish it immediately."

"That will most certainly not happen!" Sheldon objected. "We will not cater to their demands as if we were the guilty parties—the strike was their initiative after all."

"Zip it!" Howard hushed, and grinned at her and Penny. "They don't really mean that, you tell them Leonard."

Leonard was in a staring contest with Penny. He grimaced and said: "No. I'm with Sheldon here, we're not going to take the fault for this whole thing." Howard clapped a hand on his forehead.

"If you think we will… think again!" Penny barked.

Raj gulped down an entire glass of wine and refilled it. "This thing went so well in my head."

"It's one of those rare occasions that Leonard is right," Sheldon said. "We gentleman were the ones victimized; having female tempers explode at our faces, suffering the disruption of scheduled activities, being made to worry endlessly about the welfare of unreachable partners—"

Amy glanced at him inquiringly. He suddenly bit his lips and fell silent, his color changing to an interesting shade of red.

"I-I mean, such action, that is—it's a violation of the Relationship Agreement!" He stammered, still red-faced. She dropped her gaze on her folded hands; with her peripheral vision, she saw him blink anxiously, squirming in his seat.

"Come on, you all need to compromise and let love guide your way. Amy…" Raj addressed her and she started slightly. "You haven't said anything. What is it you wanted from this?"

She opened her mouth, looking at Penny, around the table, and then at Sheldon, before replying: "I wanted Sheldon to treat me better."

Raj gasped. Howard narrowed his eyes. Penny bared her teeth, and Leonard adjusted his glasses. They all turned to Sheldon.

"What do you mean?" He whispered, his voice nearly cracking. Bernadette pushed the napkin holder closer to him.

She placed her hands on the table, twiddling her thumbs. "I'm glad to be your girlfriend, and to follow the terms of your Relationship Agreement, but I also have my needs…"

"Does she mean sex—oof!" Howard grunted when Bernadette slapped her hand against his chest.

"What do you mean 'your Relationship Agreement,' it's _our_ Relationship Agreement," her boyfriend practically bounced on his seat, like a jumpier-than-normal grasshopper.

"It's yours, you're the one who made it!" Penny shrieked.

"Shush!" Leonard hissed. She gaped indignantly at him.

"No Sheldon, it's not 'our Relationship Agreement,' yours was the only input that went into the document," Amy clarified, her voice quiet yet clear. "Even the few amendments are there solely due to your proposal and approval."

"You poor thing!" Raj moaned, reaching for her hands and patting them profusely.

"That's a violation of the Relationship Agreement!" Sheldon snapped, making the other man shrink back. "Both the boyfriend and the girlfriend are forbidden from engaging in intimate physical contact with any other individual."

Penny rolled her eyes. "Yeah, very intimate."

"If that's _their_ definition of intimate, then our own standards don't apply," Leonard retorted.

Sheldon wasn't done. "The Relationship Agreement governs all aspects of our relationship, and yet for the past few days, you've disregarded it completely: indulging in female tantrums without so much as an explanation, cutting communications, not letting me perform my boyfriend duties, withholding the compulsory physical contact and yet allowing your hands to be caressed by another man." He was breathing hard, frowning at her accusingly. "That's five strikes, two incidents in excess of the three-strike rule that requires me to put the offending party under a corrective class or else terminate the relationship with said party immediately."

Her throat felt very, very dry. She coughed lightly, and trying to temper the trembling of her voice, said: "I'm sorry." His blue eyes grew wide. She pulled out a pen and her copy of the Relationship Agreement from her bag and slid the items across the table to him. "If you find me such an unsatisfactory girlfriend, then maybe…" She flipped to a certain section.

His blue eyes grew even wider when he saw the page. "How preposterous. The Breakup Clause calls for the initiator to relocate to another planet, something you clearly can't accomplish."

"That's the primary condition," she said. "But the secondary condition, which can be fulfilled in lieu of the first, is for the initiator to relocate to a different hemisphere and to erase one's digital footprint to prevent further discomfort to the other party with their online presence."

He stared at her, unblinking.

"I can move to Riyadh any time, after all Faisal supports my research and—"

"NO!" He roared, jumping to his feet. "You will not move to Riyadh, you will not see Faisal, you will not breakup with me—you are in a definitive and permanent state of being _my_ girlfriend." He snatched the document and scrawled violently across it. "I propose an amendment to the Relationship Agreement and it is passed."

He tossed the agreement back on the table and stormed out of the restaurant. As Amy peered at the document, Bernadette drew closer to her. "Did Sheldon just…" the petite blonde clapped her hands over her mouth. "Sheldon removed the secondary breakup clause?"

Howard shuddered. "Now you can only breakup with that nutso if you move to another planet?"

Amy took the document and pen. "What are you doing?" Penny asked.

She penned her signature beside Sheldon's. "Countersigning the document."

"Aww," Bernadette and Howard cooed in unison.

Raj sobbed. "That's so touching, and I'm so sad Sheldon Cooper got a girlfriend before I did."

Penny shook her head and stood up. "Come on Amy, let's go."

"But wait," Raj said, "We don't even know where Sheldon and Amy will go from here, what about you and Leonard?"

The conflicting couple looked at each other and said at the same time: "Not until s/he says sorry!"

Raj pouted and Howard banged his head on the table. Bernadette gave a little wave, as Amy found herself being pulled away by Penny.

* * *

><p>"Today's sleepover is exclusively for the two of us?" Amy asked as she followed Penny into Apartment 4B. "No Bernadette?"<p>

"No," Penny confirmed. "She betrayed us, so we're going to punish her for a bit."

"By means of excluding her from our female social rituals, thereby underlining how she so callously disregarded Girl Code. Fair enough. Anyway, I'm glad to spend some quality time with my bestie." She smiled, but Penny couldn't help but noticing how it didn't quite reach her green eyes.

"Later, I can brush your hair," she offered, hoping to coax one of the trademark, wide Amy grins out of her.

"I'd rather be the one brushing your golden tresses," Amy commented. Her finger was absently stroking the binding of the Relationship Agreement that she was currently hugging to her chest.

"We'll do both," Penny said, trudging to her closet and pulling out a jersey. "Here, it's long enough to be a nightshirt, as long as you don't bend over."

The brunette disappeared into the bathroom and she took the opportunity to change into a tank top and shorts. When Amy returned, showing a considerable amount of thigh, she whistled. "Looking good there, Ames."

She flushed. "Oh, not as good as you. What are we going to do now?"

"We can start by eating coffee liquor topped ice cream and bashing the boys—" Penny's ears twitched when she heard movement from across the hall. "They only came back now? What were they doing? Leonard had that paper deadline…" She flung the door open.

Leonard and Sheldon were struggling to open their door, each with an armful of comic books and at least two action figures. "Typical," she muttered.

Dropping one of his action figures when he saw her, Leonard predictably gawked at her tank top and shorts, before doing a double-take at the bare-legged Amy that Sheldon had been ogling at with slack-jawed fascination. Amy instinctively put her hands over her legs, the movement causing the jersey to slip off one shoulder.

Sheldon croaked a sound that roughly translated to: "_Hnnnnnggh._"

Penny snorted. "Ames, maybe you should get back inside before the boys choke on their own drool."

At her words, Amy bolted and Sheldon started, glancing at Leonard in outrage. "Where do you think you're looking at?" He poked two fingers at the other guy's eyes, only to hit the spectacles.

"Ouch!" They cried at the same time.

"What are you doing?" Leonard demanded.

"That's my line," Sheldon snarled. He opened their door and headed inside.

"Jealous much?" Leonard muttered. "Your Kolinahr is slipping."

"It's only logical to protect what's mine," his roommate declared, before leaving for his bedroom.

"God," Leonard groaned.

"Whacko whackadoodle is whacko," she muttered.

"Tell me about it." He caught her eye and they broke into fits of laughter.

Just as suddenly, they stopped and sobered up, straightening their faces.

Penny huffed and slammed the door. She leaned against it, knocking the back of her head hard. "What the hell am I doing?"

**Author's Notes:** So, I went to South Korea and was too busy wandering and eating to make fic updates. And when I got back, I had to catch up on work and stuff first. Sorry for the delay. Hope you guys will still read and review though.


	6. The Maternal Instinct

**The Double Girlfriend Dissent**

**VI. The Maternal Instinct**

"That's settled then," Howard declared. "I'll contact the older Dr. Hofstadter while you call Mrs. Cooper." Raj nodded at that. "Now Bernie, about the girls…"

"It will never woooork," Bernadette cooed, looking smugly across the little round table at the two men.

Raj took a sip of his mocha frappuccino and pouted. Howard sighed: "We don't really have a choice at this point. Besides, aren't you supposed to be on _my _side now?"

She gasped in exaggerated surprise. "What ever gave you that idea, Howie?"

He shrugged. "Oh you know… you helping set up that intervention—ouch," he glared at Raj, who had rapped at his shoulder, "fine, inter_friend_tion, and me getting us that trip."

"Oh that," she nodded. "That was a one-time thing. And now, I have to meet up with the girls so they can help me go shopping for Hawaii and I can woo them and make up for setting them up that time."

"Huh…?" Howard watched her as she sipped the last of her green tea latte noisily and stood up. "But Bernie…"

"You're on your own this time, Howie Wowie. Maybe Rajie has some mystical South Asian trick you can use this time?" She winked at the Indian man who was gesturing frantically and silently. "Bye boys!" She flounced away, heading for the door of the coffee shop.

Behind her, she heard Raj tell Howard: "Dude, that was so racist!" She chuckled and pulled out her phone. "Hi Penny, we're on for shopping right? Oh, don't be mad—I'm treating you and Amy to manicures. Yaaaay!"

* * *

><p>Carefully balancing his laptop with one arm, Howard knocked on Penny's door with his free hand. The door swung open, and Penny appeared. She narrowed her eyes at him. "What do you want?"<p>

He grimaced. "Since you wouldn't cooperate with out intervention, I needed to resort to this." He turned the laptop screen to face her.

"Hello, homegirl," Dr. Beverly Hofstadter's face on the screen said.

Penny's jaw dropped and she glared at Howard, mouthing: _I'm going to kill you._ She composed herself and gave Leonard's mother a small smile. "Hi, Beverly."

"I heard that you and Leonard had a, shall we call it a 'love quarrel,' and upon failing to reach an amicable resolution, you decided to withhold his boyfriend privileges and pull a girlfriend strike."

"Yeah, the little man told you right." She scowled at him, looking pissed enough to kick him in the nuts, so he did his best to put on a remorseful face.

"Actually, he didn't have to," the older woman corrected. "Sheldon contacted me asking for advice and told me about the situation; that you deviously manipulated his innocent girlfriend into participating in the said strike, and that he's suffering for a mindless conflict that's clearly your and Leonard's fault."

Penny's nostrils flared and she muttered: "Why that crazy—"

"What advice did you give him?" Howard asked, unable to resist his curiosity.

"Since he was distracted due to the sudden severance of contact with his girlfriend and remarkably tense for missing her presence, I suggested that he relieve the discomfort of his mind and body by getting her right where he wants her and take her in every way he pleases: whether he wants to ride her like a true Texas cowboy or submit to the vixen's commands or act out his fantasies of going where no man has gone before, in more ways than one—"

Both Howard and Penny gaped, exchanging looks of horror. "Okay, okay, okay," he cried. His brain had been flooded with mental images when Beverly had related her 'advice,' and the worst part of it all was they were kinda _hot_…

"Holy crap on a cracker, I hope Leonard made him read that book," Penny muttered.

"Anyway, we're not on video chat to discuss Sheldon's relationship, we're here to discuss you and Leonard," Beverly said.

Penny shook her head. "I really appreciate your concern, Beverly, but I think we've got this—"

"Doubtful," Beverly disagreed. "If that was the case, then your little friend wouldn't have called me asking to help sort out this girlfriend strike business."

Howard clenched his teeth. "Hey, ladies, can we stop with the name-calling?"

"We weren't name-calling, we were describing you: 'little' is a perfectly accurate adjective," the older Dr. Hofstadter said. Before he could come up with a retort, she continued: "Penny, you've known my son for years, but as they say, mothers know best. And if you're determined to break him down with this girlfriend strike, my input would grant you with speedier results."

The blonde perked with interest at those words. "What else can you suggest?"

"I suppose you've already strutted around while showing off your goodies as if you were a window display at Christmas and he were a little match girl shivering in the snow?" When Penny nodded vigorously, Beverly bared her teeth in a chilling smile. "Carry on then. Also, don't underestimate the power of jealousy: the needy baby is so sensitive when he thinks the attention being deprived of him is being bestowed upon someone else."

Penny continued nodding; Howard frowned at the monitor. "Wait a minute, Dr. Hofstadter, this wasn't what I had in mind when I asked you to 'help with the girlfriend strike,' you're just giving her tips on how to mess with Leonard—"

"Penny, lose the little man," Beverly ordered.

Penny grabbed Howard's laptop and slammed the door in his face. "Hey, come back here!" he yelled, pounding at the door. "You were supposed to make them make up, Dr. Hofstadter!

"… Damn." He stared at the door and waited for ten minutes. He was expecting to wait longer, when the door swung open again. Penny shoved the laptop in his arms.

"One more thing," came Beverly's monotone. Penny turned her gaze back to the screen. "I'm certain you already know that, even without my assistance, you would've likely emerged as the victor in this conflict between you and Leonard. He's far more open about his attachment than you are… and perhaps, he's the one who possesses deeper feelings, thus, he's the more vulnerable party. It's no wonder he's being strangely intractable, it's a defense mechanism." Penny stiffened and stuttered unintelligibly; Beverly gave her a long look before continuing. "Eventually, he'll give in to you, Penny. You'll be proven 'right.' Is that what you really want? What's the most important thing to you at this point?"

Penny pressed her lips together. She started to speak when the door across the hall opened and Leonard stepped out. He glanced askance at her and Howard.

"Heeeey, Leonard, buddy…" Howard muttered, trying to smile nonchalantly.

"Leonard has appeared? I'll speak with him," Beverly declared.

"Mother?" Leonard asked incredulously as Howard brought his laptop closer.

"Hello, Leonard. It's difficult and all your efforts will be in vain, but hang in there, sissypants. That's all." The elder Dr. Hofstadter signed off, leaving the younger Dr. Hofstadter with brows furrowed in confusion. Then he saw Penny.

Howard expected the blonde to hiss and slam her door, but she returned Leonard's gaze, almost absently. Then she calmly closed the door.

"What's going on?" he raised his eyebrows at Howard. "I'm kind of afraid now."

Howard could only wince.

* * *

><p>The laboratory door was open, but Raj still knocked on it. Amy glanced up from her microscope. "You're here. Why did you want to meet?" She stepped back warily. "Did you bring Sheldon with you?"<p>

He shook his head and waved at the corridor. His guest entered the laboratory. "Hello, Amy."

"Mrs. Cooper… good afternoon." She shifted her weight from foot to foot, unable to meet Mrs. Cooper's eyes. Raj remembered what Leonard had told him before—Mrs. Cooper had used reverse psychology to make Sheldon and Amy get back together after their break-up. Amy probably thought that Mrs. Cooper truly disapproved of her.

The older woman smiled warmly and engulfed her in a hug; when Mrs. Cooper finally pulled back and held her at arm's length, Raj could clearly see the surprise on Amy's face. "What's this I hear about you and Shelly having relationship troubles?"

"Oh," she fidgeted. "Then this must be pleasing development for you."

Mrs. Cooper tilted her head, gazing at her intently. "Now why would that please me?"

"Because you disapproved of our relationship, even back when we were just boy/friend/girl/friend." Amy's green eyes were downcast. "I suppose you would want to find someone better for Sheldon—"

"Oh sweetheart!" Mrs. Cooper cradled her cheek in one hand, tilting up her face to make eye contact. "You're absolutely perfect for my Shelly bean. I always knew that the Lord Jesus made him so… special to match that one girl who's just as special. And after so many years of being alone, he finally found her."

Raj felt himself tear up and he couldn't help a loud, wet sniff. The women turned to him, sternly. He put his hands together in apology.

Amy bit her lip. "Is that really—do you think so?"

Mrs. Cooper nodded beatifically. "I know so. At that time you broke up, I pretended to disapprove of your relationship so Sheldon would naturally want to get back together again. You know men, always wanting to do contrary what women tell them to do."

"Reverse psychology," Amy breathed. She beamed with one of her trademark wide grins. "You're good."

"When you raise a boy like Shelly, you learn a few tricks." Her future mother-in-law winked. "Now, about your relationship being on the rocks? You and Penny pulled a girlfriend strike on the boys, this silent one told me in his email. I don't know what Leonard could've possibly done, the dear boy's quite sweet, but Sheldon can be very trying. It's those agreements of his, isn't it?"

She shook her head. "That's not it, not really. I understand that Sheldon needs binding agreements to regulate his relationships, even though those agreements can be too restrictive. I would like to have some input in our agreement, and maybe for him to be a little spontaneous, or for me to at least get some sugar once in a while—" she stopped and blushed. Mrs. Cooper was stifling a sly smile. "Um, anyway, sometimes I feel that he only holds on to the agreement for his benefit. And I can't help but wonder, if it's ever possible for him to have the kind of feelings that I have for him. Despite this, I still want to be with him; I lo—like him a lot. A lot."

Raj clapped his hands over his mouth, lest he start sobbing out loud.

Mrs. Cooper placed an arm around Amy's shoulders. "I've never seen Sheldon take as much interest in another person as he has with you, and never _ever_ being interested in a woman as, well, a woman. It must be unfair to ask you to wait for him to come along at his own pace, but even I don't know how to push that boy's gas pedal when it comes to these matters.

"I wish it hadn't come to this, this girlfriend strike. You kids are better than that." When Amy sighed, Mrs. Cooper patted her back. "I'm not blaming you dear, I'm sure Sheldon pushed you to this. But you're such a compatible pair, I'm sure you can solve this kind of problem between the two of you. But—it has come to this. He pushed you and you shoved him in turn. You can't go back anymore."

Amy looked worried. "What do you mean?"

"You can't stop now, give him an inch and Sheldon takes the whole darned mile. If you let him off, he'll take that as permission to take two, or ten, steps back, and all the progress you've made in your relationship would be lost. You'll have to carry this strike of yours to the end." Mrs. Cooper smirked. "One thing I can tell you about Sheldon—once he has become attached to something, he won't let go, no matter what happens. You better be prepared Amy, because that boy's going to hold on to you."

"I'm prepared," Amy said solemnly.

"Good. With that settled, would you be so kind as to let me use your computer, Amy? I'll have to contact Shelly with that Internet video talking thing you do."

Amy opened her laptop and contacted Sheldon through Skype. He picked up immediately; his ecstatic smile bouncing in the screen. "Amy! You called!" He pulled himself together and put on a poker face. "Are you finally going to apologize for your transgressions?"

"No Sheldon, and I disagree with the idea that I must be the only one to apologize for this incident." She cleared her throat. "Anyway, the reason I called you is because someone else wishes to speak with you." She stepped aside to let Mrs. Cooper view the screen as well.

"Shelly," Mrs. Cooper crooned.

"Mom…" he smiled in a most child-like way. "You're in Pasadena, why didn't you tell me?"

"I wanted to surprise you," she replied. "I heard you and Amy were having some problems and I thought I might be able to help. I've recently realized that she's indeed a lovely girl, and well-suited for you."

"If anyone can win over my mom, it would be that hotsy-totsy," Sheldon muttered under his breath.

"Unfortunately, I failed," she sighed dramatically. "Since you're being so stubborn, Amy's been thinking that this falling-out's probably for the best."

"What do you mean?" he squeaked.

She shrugged. "By the looks of things, she might have to give up on you, Shelly bean."

"That's impossible!" he cried. "She's my girlfriend, permanently, since it would be impossible for her to relocate to another planet as our Relationship Agreement states should be post break-up—"

"Excuse me Shelly, but I'm rather tired, so let's talk tomorrow," she said. "I'll be staying at Amy's place to catch up on getting to know her, before she stops being your girlfriend. Maybe your nice Indian friend could come over too, and cook a delightful meal for us."

Raj peered at the screen and waved, sneering at Sheldon. His officemate's blue eyes grew round, then he glowered with deathly intent. "Koothrapali, don't you dare!"

"Goodbye, Sheldon," Amy said, closing the laptop.

Raj looked at the women and started bowing out of the room, but Amy grabbed him by the neck of his sweater vest. "Rajesh Koothrapali, you troubled Mrs. Cooper into coming here with the intent of manipulating my next move with Sheldon. The least you could do is to actually cook that meal for us."

"That sounds fair," Mrs. Cooper agreed.

Sheldon's girlfriend crossed her arms over her breasts and raised one brow at him, smirking. Raj sulked, but nodded in acquiescence. Sheldon was right, she was truly a vixen.

**Author's Notes:** I'm still floating on a sea of hearts due to The Launch Acceleration! I was very tempted not to update until after the finale, since I didn't want to come down from the high, and I know no one else wants to come down from it either. But then, I'm at the home stretch, and it would be nice to get the happy ending up after the finale week. Until then. ;)


	7. The Effusive Climax

**The Double Girlfriend Dissent**

**VII. The Effusive Climax**

Penny climbed the stairs of the apartment building. Amy plodded behind her, as if weighed down by her overnight bag, uncharacteristically quiet; she was usually so excited about their sleepovers, but not tonight. She was probably turning over and over in her head what her boyfriend's mother told her a couple of days ago. Like Penny herself was doing.

"_Is that what you really want?"_

"_What is the most important thing to you at this point?"_

She reached the fourth floor and she nodded resolutely to herself. She had to talk to Leonard.

And Leonard was standing with Sheldon before their apartment, looking at her with a determined expression as his roommate was unlocking the door. Slowly and steadily, he walked towards her.

She had to talk to Leonard, but maybe not today.

She made a dash for her apartment, but he caught her by the wrist and pulled her inside apartment 4A; Sheldon pressed against the doorframe and out of the way as they stalked by him. "Leonard!" she yelled, failing to inject any venom in her voice.

"Penny…?" Amy called, following them inside.

"Sheldon," Leonard muttered, waving his hand.

At his best friend's gesture, Sheldon closed the door and leaned against it. "… Amy." His girlfriend whirled around and yelped when she found him blocking the only exit, hugging her duffel bag as if it was a safety blanket.

"My mother has been contacting me everyday, asking what you've been doing and if I had conceded to your strike yet," Leonard told Penny. "She has never shown this much interest in my affairs. Did you start scheming with her for this? Am I some sort of experiment now?"

He was calm and there wasn't a touch of anger in his face and voice. He was resigned and… hurt. Penny winced. "No, I didn't—Howard called Beverly and she talked to me and told me… stuff. I didn't ask her, she told me those things on her own." Of course, the fair thing to do would've been to tell Beverly not to do so. She glanced away guiltily, and caught sight of her 'bestie.'

Amy was backing away from Sheldon, taking one small step for his every long-legged stride. Her gaze darted around, obviously intimidated by his focused stare. She bumped her legs against the coffee table, dropped her bag in surprise, and attempted to side-step away, but his hand shot out and grasped one of hers. She shrank back, wide-eyed and breathtaken, and he deliberately curled the fingers of her limp hand around his.

"How can you do that to me, Amy?" He asked, more needy than accusing. "While it's physically possible for me to go through a day without hearing your voice or seeing your face, I… don't want to."

She blinked and looked up at him. "Meaning… you missed me?"

He shrugged. "In the simplest terms, yes, though that concept is inadequate to describe my feelings for the past several days. I never want to experience that again."

Missing, feelings, and _handholding_? Penny frowned and turned back to Leonard, but he was watching his best friend and his best friend's girlfriend with that curious furrowing of his bushy eyebrows.

A smile bloomed on Amy's face. "I more than missed you too."

Suddenly, Amy—no, both Amy and _Sheldon_—closed the gap between them and kissed. Jaws dropping slack, Penny and Leonard exchanged awed looks and gawked at them. The soft pressing of lips lasted for but one Mississippi, but when they drew apart by a breath, they looked into each other's eyes. The air felt chilled and charged, as if by an impending thunder storm.

Then Sheldon wrapped his arms around her waist as Amy flung her arms around his neck and their lips met in a passionately searing, far-more-than-a-friendly-greeting, exchange-of-saliva-inclusive kiss. When Sheldon fell backwards on the couch, with Amy on top of him, it became obvious that they had either forgotten or were completely disregarding the fact that Leonard and Penny were still in the living room. Sheldon flipped their positions so he was pinning Amy to the couch, and tossed her glasses away with a careless flick of his wrist before kissing his way from her temple to her jaw and down her neck.

Leonard gulped, both horrified and entranced. "Are we watching this?"

"No," Penny said, grabbing his hand and dragging him with her as she fled the apartment. Slamming the door of Apartment 4A and leaning against it, they were silent for a few tense seconds.

"Well," Leonard grunted. "That was interesting." He started heading for the stairs, his hand slipping from hers—

She had to talk to Leonard, but maybe not today.

No.

She had to talk to him, right now.

"Wait!" she cried, tightening her grip on his hand and tugging him back. He turned around, his face full of questions. "This whole thing is stupid. _I'm_ stupid."

"No, you're not…" he trailed off when she raised an eyebrow at him. "Yeah, you are sometimes, but so am I."

Why did she always make him end up saying things like that? She shook her head. "I'm sorry, Leonard."

"You are?" he echoed.

"I'm sorry for _everything_," she stressed, hoping he'd understand. After a few moments, he nodded and she knew that he knew exactly what she meant. "Do you want to come in for a glass of wine?"

"Sure, sure…"

She led the way to her apartment, only releasing his hand so he can sit on the couch and she can prepare two glasses of wine. He accepted the glass with a 'thank you,' and she sat beside him, inching closer so their knees touched.

"Leonard," she sighed. "I started this fight over the Roommate Agreement. But really, the Roommate Agreement happened way before any of our relationships and that's just how you and your roommate roll, so I should've respected that."

"No Penny, you were right, it was insensitive of us to discuss you girls as if you were just objects within the clauses of our agreement, you're both far too important for that." He smiled widely. Tears welled in her eyes, but she couldn't help grinning back at him. "Our relationship is between the two of us, and for anything that will affect our relationship, I should be discussing with you. And that's what I'll do," he promised.

"And I... I'll try not to have a freak out every time your crazy bestie does his thing," she chuckled, then added: "Oh, and I won't tell my own crazy bestie to freak out on him either."

"Oh good," Leonard exhaled and wiped at his forehead with exaggerated relief. "Because my crazy bestie is _thisclose_ to going supervillain on our asses." He sobered up and said. "Thank you, for understanding and for putting up with him."

She nudged his knee. "You know what I talked about with Beverly?"

"What?" he asked, nervously adjusting his glasses.

"She did tell me how to mess with you," she admitted. "But she also asked me what I really wanted. And what was most important to me. The truth is, your agreement with Sheldon doesn't really matter to me. _You_ matter to me." She kissed him lightly on the lips. "My dad was right, you _are_ a keeper. And for you, I'll even put up with two Sheldons."

He gaped. "Really now, two Sheldons?"

"Hang on, let me think about that," she pinched her nose bridge in mock concentration. "Hmm… yes."

"Wow," Leonard breathed.

She stuck out her tongue playfully. "In the short time before the world ends because of having two Sheldons, anyway."

"That being not the case, thank you Jesus, as his mother would say," Leonard quipped.

They clinked their glasses and took a drink.

"Leonard?"

"Yes?"

"I love you," she said.

"I know," he answered solemnly.

She rolled her eyes. "I can't believe I'm in love with a guy who quotes Star Wars."

"I believe I quoted 'Empire Strikes Back,'" he corrected smugly.

She threw her arm around his neck and pulled him close for a kiss, giggling against his lips.

* * *

><p>Amy set the platters of pancakes and bacon on the counter and took a seat, watching across the table as Sheldon took two pieces each on his plate. "Thank you, Amy."<p>

She stifled her surprise and replied: "You're welcome." While preparing breakfast, she had actually noticed that the timetable on the fridge said it was cereal day today, and yet Sheldon had been sitting silently and hadn't bothered to correct her error.

She was halfway done with her meal when she noticed that he had barely touched his. "Sheldon?" At her voice, he looked up from twirling his fork. "Would you like some cereal instead?"

"No… no…" he murmured.

She stood up but before she could walk away, he reached over the counter and held her hand. "But your apartment's timetable says—"

"You're my girlfriend, not my roommate," he declared. She sat down and Sheldon started eating, but he didn't release her hand.

"You're really going to eat with one hand?" she teased. She was sure he heard her over the clinking of his fork on the plate; he didn't respond but he blushed until his ears were positively red.

After a slow, one-handed breakfast, they did the dishes, each 'accidental' brushing of fingers and bumping of shoulders inciting more blushes. Then they gathered their bags and headed out of the apartment. The door swung open to reveal Leonard, his hand poised to knock, and Penny standing beside him.

The two couples stared at each other, fidgeting uncomfortably, and in Leonard and Penny's case, their mouths hung open when they saw Amy. She decided to break the ice. "Hello, bestie."

Penny jumped a little. "Hey, Ames. Hey, Sheldon."

He nodded at her, then at his roommate. "Good morning, Penny. Good morning, Leonard."

Leonard pushed his glasses up his nose, his hand shaking. "Hi, Sheldon. Hi, Amy."

"Hello, Leonard." she greeted.

There was more silent shifting from foot to foot. Then Leonard burst into excited questioning: "Isn't this a violation of the Female Companion Rider to the Roommate Agreement?"

Sheldon scowled down at him, but retorted: "The revised Female Companion Rider states that no prior notice is necessary when one roommate brings an overnight female companion in the event that the other roommate stepped out of the domestic premises after the hour of 9:00 PM, since that implies that the latter would be spending the night elsewhere."

"I need to remember that one," the shorter man huffed.

"Among other things," he sniffed. He and Amy started down the stairs. Leonard and Penny followed them.

"So Amy," Penny piped up. "How was your sleepover?"

Amy glanced back to give her a demure smile; Leonard choked on his guffaws and Sheldon snapped: "Shut up, Penny."

"I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to Amy," Penny sniped back.

Somewhere between the second floor and the first floor, she noticed him breathing heavily beside her. He held up her hand—she looked up at him, but he was staring straight ahead—and then pressed a small and cold object in her palm. When he withdrew, she glanced down. It was a key.

Behind them, Leonard cleared his throat.

"Before you say anything, Amy meets all the criteria under the Qualified Spare Key Bearer Clause," Sheldon said defensively.

"Sheldon…" she warned. He bit his lips. She looked over her shoulder at Penny.

The blonde only scrunched her nose. "If you lose it, you pay a fine."

When they exited the building, Sheldon continued walking with Amy. "Sheldon," Leonard called after him. "Aren't you going to work?"

"Oh, I'm escorting Amy home, like my mother told me to do so after…" he paused.

Their best friends looked at each other conspiratorially and smirked at him. "After the night before the morning after?" Penny prompted. Sheldon squared his shoulders and glared, despite his flushed cheeks.

"You don't have to," Amy said.

"But…"

She tilted her head in Leonard's direction. "Go to work. Let's talk later."

"Okay," he said, still looking doubtful. She clutched unto his shoulders and stood on her tiptoes; he held his breath but didn't move away. She kissed one cheek, then the other. Before she could let go of him, he bent down and kissed her on the lips, making her heart skip as his tongue grazed hers. He abruptly released her and she nearly reeled back, only regaining her balance when he steadied her with a firm hand on her elbow.

"I'll call you!" he yelped, running to Leonard and slapping the other guy's arm when he whistled, and went ahead to the car.

Penny made pushing motions with her thumb and called to her: "Text me the details. But, uh, not the graphic ones."

She shrugged modestly and turned to go on her way. She heard Leonard tell Penny: "She totally owned all of us in this strike thing, didn't she?"

"What can I tell you, she's gooood," Penny said.

* * *

><p>Bernadette held out her hand. "Called it both."<p>

Howard and Raj paid up, with no small amount of grumbling. Raj whispered in Howard's ear. Howard huffed: "I know right, how could she have known that it would be Sheldon and Penny who would fold?"

"Female intuition," she crooned, counting the bills with a satisfied smirk on her face.

Raj whispered again, and Howard nodded. "Yeah, I also have a feeling she's been messing with us this entire time."

She batted her eyelashes. "You boys are free to think whatever you want."

**Author's Notes:** Aaaand, it's done. I've been getting some mixed reviews throughout this fic's run, so this ending may or may not do it for some of you. I thought about extending the fic, I thought about cutting a couple of chapters (before putting them up), but this was more or less the ending I had in mind from the beginning. I always add a dose of sugar and spice that we may never get on the show, because I think that's what fanfic is for.

**1)** Thank you, readers. And thank you so very much, reviewers! You know how much I love you, being the needy greedy fic writer I am. I might be stomping on the plot bunnies if it weren't for your feedback. They owe you their lives.  
><strong>2)<strong> I'm on the lookout for a beta—especially necessary for Big Bang Big Bang. It's easy to find someone to proofread, but of course I'd rather have a beta with extensive knowledge of the characters. And one who's a Shamy fan. ;) If anyone would like to consider this, please PM me.  
><strong>3)<strong> To those who are also reading "The Star-Crossed Glitch," fret not, I decided to finish this fic first so I can focus my energies on that one. Trying to write both at the same time was starting to mess with my mind.  
><strong>4) <strong>Darned hiatus! T_T But this seems like the perfect time to write fanfics actually. I'm wondering if I should write more short fics like this one, or finally get started on that long Shamy fic I've been wanting to do—the season finale is the perfect starting point for what I have in mind.  
><strong>5)<strong> Thank you again. *bows* Hugs and kisses to those who aren't Sheldon-esque about germs and physical affection! =D


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